Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dicks are not precious.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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