Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
