She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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