Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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