u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
