Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
