Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
