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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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