Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
