It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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