I heard we made out
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i think i scared a bird with my dick
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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