would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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