Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
