i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
