so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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