sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
