i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
