grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
