nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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