I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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