And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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