I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
