I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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