i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
