I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
