So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
