I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She bit a glass in half.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
