Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
