you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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