so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
