i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
