nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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