Kiss
Puke
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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