Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
