she woke up with a sticky ear
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
