Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
