Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
