How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
