Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
