Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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