if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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