we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
