Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
