Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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