Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
