You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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