I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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