I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
