did you get engaged???
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dude. I can hear the air.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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