and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
