At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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