I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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